Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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