Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
