we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
