we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
