nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
