East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize