Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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