is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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