Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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