I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
