just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize