laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
