The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
