put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
