He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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