chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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