omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
