So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
