I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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