would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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