Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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