There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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