She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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