$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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