Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
