he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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