No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
