You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
