Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Mom said you looked used
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
