I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
