You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
