I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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