Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
