Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
