If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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