hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Two words: blizzard sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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