Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
