There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
