where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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