I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
