i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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