when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
