you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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