at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
