the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
