Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
