Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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