Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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