Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
