okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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