Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
