ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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