hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize