I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize