Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize