I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i've created a new STD.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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