is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
