I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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