i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
