Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize