But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im holly from the hills drunk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
