oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
