Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
