i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
soo... how was my night?
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